Head-2-Head Henry Rowengartner vs. Happy Gilmore

            HEAD-2-HEAD HENRY ROWENGARTNER VS. HAPPY                                                       GILMORE

Sports movies are notorious for taking themselves very seriously. Telling the stories of underdog players dreaming of making it to the top, or teams uniting over a season to eventually win the championship of their league. But occasionally a sports film comes out that absolutely ridicules itself while ridiculing all other sports movies in their sternness. These movies provide characters rising to the top from the most absurd places. Such as Henry Rowengartner from Rookie of The Year, and Happy Gilmore from the classic movie Happy Gilmore. These characters obviously have plenty in common. So I won't explain it in detail. But for those of you who don't know, I'll sum it up. They both became pro stars from places no one was looking, got noticed from the most chance occurrences, and can make a sports ball go really far and really fast for reasons they barely even try to explain. 

So for this matchup I will be judging them from 3 categories.  Comedy presence, Strength, and fame earned by their "Skill".  So without further ado, let's get into this ridiculous and random matchup. (One more thing, Adam Sandler may be bad in movies where he has his voice from the water boy. But when he can take a role half-seriously, he rules.)

Category 1 is Comedy Presence, where the characters are judged by the comedy and laughter they bring to their scenes. I'll start with Henry.  Rookie Of The Year is a sports movie that's meant to attract kids to baseball, so it has to include lots of comedy to get kids interested as baseball is known as being a bit slow.  It has plenty of hilarious scenes and Henry leads all of them, (The scene where he bats is the most hilarious scene in a kids sports movie ever.) but it doesn't treat itself like a complete joke mocking its sport. Unlike Happy Gilmore. All in all, I'd give Henry Rowengartner a 3.5 out of five in this category as he has a lot of characters backing him up for him to provide those comedic scenes.

Happy Gilmore is a movie about Golf, and it mocks itself and Golf so well at the same time. Like all Adam Sandler movies, it is meant to just be ridiculous, nothing more. And It accomplishes that goal very well, this being Adam Sandler's best movie and all. Happy Gilmore is full of, if not made of, riotously funny scenes. And Happy is always the lead actor in them. There cannot be a funny scene in the movie without happy being in it.  If you were not rolling around on the floor laughing at him at least three times in the movie, I would like you to kindly check if you are human. I give happy 5 stars here because Happy Gilmore is the funniest sports movie character ever. 

Happy takes this point.

Category 2 is fame. This one is decided by how famous they were in their prime. 

 Henry was an A+-lister athlete in his world. He was a top star in one of the most famous sports leagues there are. As a result, he got million dollar trades, Pepsi commercials, and turned a team with about 1000 people at each game to a team that sold out its stadium each game.  So I give him a 4 here. 

Happy became one of the only golfers I could name in the sport today. And definitely the only golfer to get a subway commercial. He remodelled the sport of Golf without even trying and became a megastar in the process. But everything he did or was got one-upped by Henry. Happy came from being a hockey player and became a Golf champion. Which is an impressive, but Henry started from being 13, and turned into an MVP pro-league baseball player. And Happy played pro Golf, but Henry made it to the MLB. A league at least 10 times as famous as the PGA.  Both became superstars but Henry definitely edges out Happy. Happy gets a 3.

Henry ties it one point to one.

The last category of the battle is strength. I had to include this as the biggest category because it is the biggest thing they have in common. Henry throws it hard, Happy hits it hard. So I googled up how much force was behind their throws and shots, and the answers will decide the winner. 

Happy Gilmore definitely shot the ball the hardest in the history of Golf. And the number increased more and more as the movie progressed. He started out with a 107 MPH speed, which is already ridiculous, but by the end, his MPH was up to 114. So he's going to be tough to beat.

Henry had his arm broken while trying to catch a baseball at school, and his arm tendon heals too tightly, which is what allows him to throw so hard. But looking at it, it's not that much harder than an average pitch. The average pitch is 92.9 MPH, and Henry's max speed was 103 MPH, which isn't even as fast as Happy's starting speed. So Happy destroys Henry in this category and takes the competition. 

Happy Gilmore is a way better character and Happy Gilmore is 100% a better movie.

Happy Gilmore is the greatest light-hearted sports movie character of all time.